he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
