the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
