What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
