So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
