Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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