Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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