i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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