you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
