hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I see more hoeing in ur future
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