wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
