Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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