brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
