eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
