we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
