If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
