somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Nicole vs. Life
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Enjoy the penises
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
