Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
