she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they need to just BURY HIM!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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