its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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