He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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