I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
