got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
