It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
