your room smells of hookers.
And success
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
