She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
