It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
