it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Someone came in the potted fern
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
