Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
