Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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