I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
