ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize