some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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