so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
