Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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