Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
