There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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