no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
And then my night got REAL pukey
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
