I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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