i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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