Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
