So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
