Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
