So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
