It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
