Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
