My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
