... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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