You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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