White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
