hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
