I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
