I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
