I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
