In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
