well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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