i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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