Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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