I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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