I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
