Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
