thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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