I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize