I CAN MOONWALK!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
