there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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