I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
